Numerous deployments, training detachments, and work days that began before the family was awake and ended just before my son went to bed left my relationship with my son in a sad state.  My son, Omari, never came to me for help or comfort, he looked at me rather as a guy who came and went.  Sure, I was called papa, but was I really?

It hit me like a ton of bricks recently that I must develop my relationship with him. I couldn’t simply let time go on with our relationship as it was. I was suddenly aware that he was not going to remain the same age as I continued to blindly work unceasingly.

So, here are the 3 steps I took to correct our relationship:

1 – Connect with him daily.  I do this through spending a few minutes in play with him.  I found that a simple investment of ten minutes was enough to establish a connection.

2 – Go on weekly outings with him.  One day a week just he and I go out for dinner together and then hang out at a park or another interesting place.

3 – I do bedtime with him; and it is during this time that he and I do a small devotion and allow little habits or rituals develop.  Rituals that he has come to enjoy as just something between he and Papa.

He and I have been practicing these steps for three weeks now, and I am excited to say that it has made an awesome difference.  He now comes to me for help, he tells me that he loves me, and even wants to talk to me on the phone.

I know that most dads already have this down, but it was a big step for me.  For the other dads out there who struggle with work and connection with your kids, take heart.  If I can do it, so can you!