Habits

Habits: The Why and the How

We read in the last post that there are two kinds of people: those for whom the forming and living by habit comes, well–habitually. There are others, however.  Others for whom habits are elusive.  They surely have habitual behaviors, but not by conscious choice; they could not tell you what they do regularly, and bemoan the fact that they get distracted more often than not from their original purpose.

 

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What shall we say?  For the brothers who cannot seem to master their own habitual behavior (as if crying out for mercy from Chronos, who marches on, crushing the brother with guilt or anger that he has yet to “seize the day”)–what shall we say to these?

I stand as the young boy, facing a lump of log across the path ahead. Imagine: log after log, ever another log.  Sometimes rock, rocky stretches in the path that make for turning of ankles if one is not ever so careful to step nimbly. And we tire.  Tiresome to think of all those rocks, all those logs lying across the life-path between Now and Then, where the finish line might grant us relief.  Until one day, we wake to the desire not merely of relief, but desire to taste victory.

How to find the winning pace?  How to gain the guts that are also called faith to get up do it again, today, when the finish line is no where on the horizon?  Will slow and steady actually win the race?

Let us turn to Robert Capon for a hope-full definition of time.  In a collection of his works, The Romance of the Word, he writes “And then there is time….In Greek, the labor of meaning is divided: there are two words for time….chronos [and] kairos….When I go for a walk in the morning, I notice the time at which I leave the house: 8:45, for example.  That is chronos.  Together with 9:10, it makes up the chronological coordinates of my walk.  It is time as it can be plotted and drawn on a mental map.  Once a person is trained to it, it is a comforting notion….to be on schedule. But real time, high time–kairos, season, high time, opportunity, chance–is not trapped within the coordinates of a clock.  It does not answer the minor question: What time is it? It goes straight to the major one: What is time for?”  (47).

The first call to arms for the blindly habitual is to consider and claim the shape of his actions, his personal “history.”  Take a few minutes each morning, each evening, to write down what you believe your time is given for.  It’s another way to say: what is my purpose in this project, in this month, in this relationship?

Secondly, the forming of goals can come after claiming the desired consequence of our actions.  The setting of goals is the practice of hope in your own life. To get the full scoop, go to Brene Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection,  pages 65-67.

Finally, making the scheduled action plan.  No plan is worth more than the action we’re willing to take on it. Many times, I realize the need for engaging a partner at this point. Some people call this “accountability.”  In my life, it looks like making an appointment; I simply won’t follow through if left on my own, usually because it’s easier to choose the path of least resistance, to do what other people need or seem to want out of me.

I gain the victory when I form habits from my desire to reach a goal based on my perceived purpose for my time in history.  So, when I ask “what is time for” and find a basic desire to live in hope instead of fear or frantic servitude, I’m able to form plans based on real needs and loves.  Be surprised by the joy it is to live pro-actively.